Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Conspiracy Theories

Here's what I believe this week...

* The automated bathroom products industry is scamming you by making you believe you need to have an automated soap dispenser. But think about it for a second... You are about to wash your hands. Any germs acquired are about to disappear along with germs you just got from touching that nasty wrinkled up dollar bill in your pocket. The automated towel dispenser is important, as well as the automatic flush... the automated soap dispenser is a massive government conspiracy.

* The weed-eater industry got together in 1945 and vowed only to make weed-eaters that don't work for longer than a couple of minutes. And the companies that are laughing the hardest are the ones that have that spring loaded string dispenser that supposedly lets out more string if you tap the head on the ground. Think about it.. has that ever worked for anyone? Ever?

* John F. Kennedy was shot by Lee Harvey Oswald who actually was hired by Robert F. Kennedy to make the hit. What Robert F. Kennedy didn't know was that Lee Harvey Oswald called James Earl Ray prior to the assassination and paid for a hit on Martin Luther King. But after the assassination Lee Harvey Oswald changed his mind and planned to get the message to James Earl Ray to cancel the hit, unfortunately, Jack Ruby messed up those plans. What none of them knew was that on November 22, 1963, John F. Kennedy met a young Palestinian named Sirhan Sirhan in private at the Dallas airport to order a hit on Robert F. Kennedy in the event of his untimely death.  Why did all this happen? Each of them thought using the full 2 names was going to be, as they put it, "my thing". But none of them would back down. I mean what would you have done?

No comments: