Monday, April 01, 2013

This May Sound Stupid

* She had a face on her, that'd make a freight train take a dirt road.

* I'm not going to see Twilight because I'm 30 years old and I'm a male.

* Sleeping is my new hobby. I excel.

* I'm wondering how much a Russian mail order bride costs... and does she come with her own dental plan?

* I have laryngitis and I'm trying to get my voice back, slowly but surely. I might need speech therapy to remember how to form words.

* I have completed my taxes. Just call me Ned Flanders

* The job hunt looks promising.. I'm waiting for call backs from the CIA, Koch Industries, and Denny's

* I'm staying in tonight. but the ladies keep callin'!

* I walked 4 miles tonight.. and as per Facebook protocol, I think I deserve public recognition and praise for doing that.

* I'm thinking about changing my name to Maurice.

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