Sunday, April 29, 2012

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Undeniable Truths -- Updated

This is a rerun from many years ago, so several of them may be outdated since I wrote them. But they are still undeniable!

Based loosely on Rush Limbaugh's 30 undeniable truths.

* There is a God..He is all powerful.

* Wheat bread is so much better than white.

* If you are eating a mayonnaise sandwich right now at a table that has a NASCAR table cloth, you just might be a white trash redneck.

* No nation has ever taxed itself into prosperity.

* There is nothing more entertaining than watching a midget play Dance Dance Revolution. Go little man, Go!

* Hearing politicians tell us "we" can't "afford" a tax cut is like listening to a glutton tell you he can't "afford" a diet. In no other context do people talk about "paying for" money they don't have. I can't pay for your refusal to give me money because I need a yacht. -- Ann Coulter

* Each of us are standing in the palm of God's hand, most of us don't even realize that.

* Liberalism stems from ignorance

* Ronald Reagan is the best president of the 20th century.

* Attending Church is not optional for a Christian...according to the Bible.

* U2 recycles music.

* Abortion is murder.

* The hamburger is the single greatest food of all time.

* People who smoke are among the least brightest people on the earth.

* The ACLU is evil and will be the organization that sets the foundation for Christian persecution in America.

* American's are too fat...Hey, can someone hand me that twinkie?

* Rap music as a whole is terrible, country music as a whole is terrible. If and when the two meet Armageddon will commence.

* Homosexuality is a sin.

* Sam Cooke and Otis Redding own Usher and R. Kelly.

* Quentin Terintino is the most overrated film maker of our time.

* Adam Sandler hasn't made a funny movie since Happy Gilmore.

* Levi's Jeans, if worn for a week straight without being washed, will start to chafe.

* George W. Bush is the right man for the job, he will go down in the history books as one of the greats.

* We've finally given liberals a war against fundamentalism, and they don't want to fight it. They would, except it would put them on the same side as the United States. -- Ann Coulter

* Soy Chocolate Milk isn't half bad.

* Sticking your head out the side window of the space shuttle during reentry into the earth's atmosphere will kill you.

* Cleaning toilets is way easier and much more pleasant than cleaning windows.

* The Passion was one of the most beautifully made and truthful movies of all time.

* You could afford your house without your government - if it weren't for your government. -- Rush Limbaugh

* Michael Moore is having a triple with extra cheese from Wendy's right now.

* A warm chocolate chip cookie and a cold glass of milk is one of the greatest combinations of all time. It's the closest thing to heaven on earth that can be had.

* Barry White had himself a deep voice.

* Brian Regan is probably the funniest comedian ever. Tim B. can back me up on that one.

* Responsibility and hardship bring about maturity.

* Jesus Christ is our first, last, and only hope.

* Elvis was fat when he died.

Undeniable indeed!

Aaron S.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The 21 Absolute Worst Things In The World

The 21 Absolute Worst Things In The World

BE AFRAID. Be very afraid.



















10. THIS


11. THIS


12. THIS


13. THIS




15. THIS


16. THIS


17. THIS


18. THIS


19. THIS


20. THIS


21. And The Black Eyed Peas

And The Black Eyed Peas

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

America, Here Is What I Miss...

* I miss sitcoms you could watch with your grandma and not feel ashamed about. TGIF was the last gasp of decency before pee pee and poo poo jokes apparently became the only humor that overpaid Hollywood writers knew how to make.

* I miss VHS video rental stores. It was such a special treat.. We'd head down to Video Unlimited and if they didn't have copies left of the newest video you had to pick one from the older section.. Now days we are flooded with new movies constantly and instantly. It has lost any magic it once had.

* I miss toys that required imagination. My toys didn't play FOR me while I just watched. If I wanted my GI Joe to storm the fortress I had to gather my men and form a battle plan! Now you just push a button.. and bingo. It's lame and boring.

* I miss the days before wireless phones and answering machines. If no one was home the phone would just ring lonely all by itself. You didn't run in and look for your messages because there were none. You were then free to enjoy your evening. If it was important they would call back.

* I miss the days before Caller ID. You had no idea who was calling. It could be that girl you liked from school. It could anyone! You just answered with anticipation. All the guess work is gone now. It's boring.

* I miss shutting off the TV and watching the screen zero in until all there was left was a little dot in the middle. I would watch that dot until it would go away. I don't know why... I just miss that.

* I miss when Saturday morning was all about actual cartoons. I miss Bugs Bunny. I miss Tom and Jerry. I miss Garfield & Friends. I miss Muppet Babies. Kids today are having their childhood robbed so early and they don't even know it.

* I miss Woolworth's downtown. I have vague memories of it. But in the 80's it was a blast from the past. They had an old fashioned lunch counter in there and while my mom shopped they had a booth that you could go inside.. put in a dime.. and a Mighty Mouse cartoon would play. I remember the cartoon being old and it crackled because it was from an old projector.. and I loved it!

* I miss when the only way to hear your favorite song was to wait until it was played on the radio. And then we learned that if you put tape over the top of an old cassette that you could record over it. So we would sit by the radio and hit record at just the right time. Then you would trade mix tapes with your friends.

* I miss the days before internet when we had to use our imagination and pretend the floor was lava, and jump from couch to couch so we didn't get burned.

* I miss Wednesday night AWANA at First Bible Baptist Church. Those memories are treasures that I will remember for all my days.

* I miss the days before every single person on the earth had a tattoo.

* I miss Book It.

* I miss my Pogoball.

* I miss when America was great!

* I miss the days when America would send our troops over to your country and kick your rear end back into the stoneage if you threatened us or your neighbors. We were feared because we were free and we liked it that way, and we found it to be something worth dying for.

* I miss Ronald Wilson Reagan!

Ok That's what I miss. I took a survey on my Facebook page about what others miss. Here are their answers in their entirety...

Christie Shay Veatch I miss the old cartoons on saturday mornings that lasted from 7-11 mixed with the good, fun commercials for sugary cereal. Try having a pirate or toucan sell healthy stuff? Just not the same...

Keri Loy Hill I miss not being tied down my technology. Cell phones, emails, etc. I miss making the time to sit down and write a letter and send it "snail mail". I still constantly get excited everytime I go get the mail in hopes of a card, letter, something. But all I get are ads and bills.

Jaclynn Heffren Williams I miss the lack of reality TV shows. I also miss when parents weren't more worried about the self-esteem of their children than the personal responsibility and character of their children.

Christie Shay Veatch I liked it before caller id and you would genuinely get surprised by the voice at the other end of the line. And being able to make crank calls. My kids will miss out on that too.

Christie Shay Veatch I miss " now on a very special blossom".

Christie Shay Veatch Remember waiting for your fav song to come on the radio so you could run and hit the record button for your mixed tape?

Christie Shay Veatch I kinda miss pauly shore too...most of the old MTV actually.

Misty Milke Burk Love and miss 80's music :) and I had some kick a** hair!

Misty Milke Burk Remote control on MTV

Misty Milke Burk Ok so here is what I miss the most, lock downs on Friday nights at skate east!

Christie Shay Veatch I also miss the times when you could leave your kids in the car to pay for gas or buy a gallon of milk. My parents did that all the time, now it's neglect.

Micaela McFadden Widman I miss a few things, but the the main one is the freedom to run around and not be so worried about kidnappers and random killers. My kids don't know this freedom and I am sad for them. Also, it really seems like people run around so much more these days and don't ever sit and enjoy other people and God's gifts to us. I remember more "lazy days" growing up (esp. in summer) and soaking it all in. Oh, and I definitely miss cleaner t.v. shows, like The Cosby Show.

Kim Shay Leidy I miss Popped Tarts Crunch! Cuz I loved to munch on them. =)

Christie Shay Veatch Lol! Remember when ordering pizza was like a big deal?

Christie Shay Veatch Loitering in front of the palace...going to the mall to meet boys! you just go online!

Beth Allison Shonka Kids night at Pizza Hut!
And when cartoons were cool before the anime junk. (Thundercats, Silverhawks, Jem anyone?)
And, my hubby just said, Ronald Reagan...

Ben Lim Walkman

Brandon Gross No bills.

Christie Shay Veatch John Hughes movies.

Janet Frascatore Coon Weeble Wobbles.

Brandon Gross Waffle Crisp.

Brandon Gross Sprite Remix (2005)

Christie Shay Veatch Totally geeking out over trapper keepers.

Paul Overson Miss people I was close with moving from Airbase to airbase, state to state in those years.

Janet Frascatore Coon Going to the "penny candy" store after church on Sundays ... when they actually WERE still a penny!

Judy Kelly I was going to say basically what Micaela said. I miss that children can't go outside and play for hours getting exercise and being creative and adventurous with no adult supervision. I do like central air conditioning and realize that probably the reason we played outside ALL DAY was because it was cooler outside.

Christie Shay Veatch I remember being very naive about the world's problems in a sheltered, selfish way. Then 9-11 happened and all of a sudden the world's problems invaded the lives of kids everywhere. Now they have to worry about terrorism, deranged depressed people shooting randomly in schools, bullying in a way we never had to deal with, going green, and accepting every one except jesus christ. I wish there was a way to give our kids a piece of what we had. It wasn't so bad.

Brandon Gross Gas prices under $2.

Jenifer Strickland i want my MTV!

Sylvia Dillenbeck Geide I remember getting together wth kids in the neighbohood to play "Kick the can" until dark. Hide & Seek When we hear that certain "whistle" we knew it was time to get home. Dating would be walking down the street holding hands. Life was so much simpler back in the 40"s. We were happy with the simple life. Walking, riding our bikes or taking the city transpertation to school and other activities. Wow, What great memories.

Ray Pew Ronald Reagan of course.

Tami Klube Nintendo & Atari.

Ashley Welsh Orbitz, board games, and definitely the mixtapes. We still play board games a couple of times a year, but like we used to.

Christie Shay Veatch Garbage pail kids, friendship bracelets, caboodles...

Donald Wendt Aladians acarde, showbiz pizza, 24/7 music videos on mtv, no cnn, no espn hardhitting football, baseballs players not on steroids, a congress that did something for its people not its highest donors.

Got it America! People miss what you used to be. We miss the easier times before technology made us more complicated and less patient. We don't want to become just another country. We want to be GREAT. We want to be what we were born to be. We miss the American Dream!