* The State Of The Union speech by Barack Obama should have literally been this: "My Fellow Americans... Gotcha!!"
* What happened to Hillary Clinton? It looked like that headband was holding back her hair plus several extra inches of skin.
* Breaking News: Mitt Romney has promised to make recess 15 minutes longer, add two extra vending machines in the lounge, and make it so Coca-Cola comes out of the water fountains.