* A woman being searched at a TSA checkpoint twisted the breast of a female officer giving her the pat down. They have decided not to give her a felony for this "assault". They added "It would have been a much more serious charge if she had said 'Tune in Tokyo' during her nipple twister"
* I guess the obesity epidemic has an upside. A report out this week said nudist colony membership has dropped significantly due to "expanding girths". I guess seeing a fat, smelly, hairy guy named Billy Bob kind of makes you want to stay home and put on like 4 pairs of pants.