Friday, December 10, 2010

Predictions For 2011

It's time once again to look into the future and see what we have in store for us next year...

* In order to fly, you must be willing to fly naked. Only turbans will be allowed (Gotta be sensitive to the Muslims!)

* Lady Gaga will try and shock us in some predictable, anti-morality way. Probably involving blasphemy and nudity in some way. But still gay dance clubs will soak it up everywhere and will be filled with flamboyant prancing pseudo-hippies.

* Reality TV will continue to have less to do with reality than most half hour sitcoms.

* Weezer will put out 8 albums, none of them will be any good.

* The post office will raise the cost of the stamp to 99 cents each or 10 for 8.99 on Itunes.

* Justin Bieber's voice will start to change. Not to fear, Auto-tune will make sure to he keeps that sweet 12 year old girl sound for years to come.

* The liberals will hate Sarah Palin. This prediction was the hardest one for me to make. I mean, Liberals are so open-minded, generous, and kind that it's hard to think they could possibly hate.

* Jesus Christ is on his starting block waiting for the Father to shoot the starting pistol signaling his return to come rescue us off this horrible spinning ball and take us to where we will thirst no more. If only it were this next year. Come Lord.. We're ready!

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