Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Signs The End Is Near

* We're getting our junk felt up before we fly on airplanes. I like to have my crevices remain untouched by total strangers as a general rule.

* Our president spends more time flying to other countries and bowing to their leaders then working on our horrible domestic situations. But on the plus side his golf game is improving.

* Most of us have never met some of our friends on Facebook. That is really no different than having imaginary friends. The voices in my head play Farmville all day.

* 17 year old pop stars are making out with chicks, wearing trampy clothes, and writing sexual lyrics about threesomes. Meanwhile, 40 year old women are standing in line with their 15 year old daughters to fantasize about flamboyant teen vampires with poofy hair.

* Kids openly throw massive tantrums towards their parents in Walmart and Target with no consequences. It's all I can do to keep from putting duct tape of their mouth.

* We went to the moon using slide rules and archaic computers that didn't even have Solitaire on them. Yet now our kids can't pass basic math tests even though they have more computing power in their cell phones and the answers are in the back of the book.

* Lady Gaga

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