Sunday, November 21, 2010

New TSA Pat Down Facts

Here are the details, and positive points about the hands-on search that some of America will be dealing with this Holiday week.

* Now you can go through airport security AND have a prostate exam all in one convenient stop.

* If you are on your way to spring break next year the party begins before you even board the plane.

* We can all sit on the plane and feel safe knowing the 90 year old lady sitting across the aisle is free of explosives and box cutters. The 90 year olds always like to make us think they are so innocent, but come on!! We are so on to you grandma!

* Kids no longer have to wait until they are arrested for possession in their teens to know the joys of the invasive cavity search!

* Women who are shy and awkward can break free from those chains of oppression by having a middle age, overweight guy with bad breath give them a cheap feel in front of complete strangers.

* Mohammed will be forced to think outside the box and come up with new ways to kill the infidel. Let's face it.. the airplane's been done. That's kind of old hat.

* Let's face the facts.. American's have had their junk way under-touched for too many years. It's time our various scrotilia was violated on a national level.

* This prevents us from actually having to attack terrorists where they live. We can make our own people pay for their jihad. It's fantastic, everyone wins!

See! It's great.

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