* Lady Gaga has been going around in mens clothing to protest the "Don't ask, don't tell" ban on gays in the military. I think I speak for all republicans when I say we'd be glad to allow gays in the military in exchange for sending Lady Gaga up to the International Space Station for a few years. Go annoy them for awhile.
* We don't allow openly gay people in the military for the same reason we don't allow men in the women's locker room. Besides we need our fighting men and women to be as heavy in the loafers as humanly possible. Prancing towards the enemy just isn't good strategy.
* A few days ago government economists declared the recession actually ended last year. In a related story, government scientists have declared that cancer was actually cured two years ago.