* When I go to the movies I can't help it, I start analyzing the characters at the beginning to see who will be dead by the end of the movie. The sure bets are the cop who is about to retire, and the teenager in the gang who is really a nice guy.
* Sometimes when I take a shower I like to pretend I'm on a submarine and we sprung a leak.
* The drive thru line is empty, sweet! Let me just pull in here..wait a second, where did those 5 cars just come from?