Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The Best Of Fred Thompson's Facebook Status Updates

Fred Thompson is my new quotable hero...

  • Toyota is questioning the accuracy of a California driver's story about his out-of-control Prius. They probably got suspicious when the driver said "I stomped on the brake pedal - you know... the long skinny one".
  • President Obama said he wants to overhaul the immigration system. Knowing Obama, it's probably just another crazy entitlement scheme to give everyone in America a free illegal immigrant
  • The IRS visited a carwash in Sacramento because the owner was 4 cents short in paying his taxes. Poor guy. With a piddling little violation like that, he'll never be able to get a job in Obama's cabinet.
  • During a speech on health care, President Obama said "I don't accept business as usual". What... you mean "profitable"?
  • In a recent speech, President Obama bravely announced that he's opposed to waste, fraud, and abuse. I'm guessing his next risky position will be denouncing cornflakes that don't stay crunchy in milk.
  • To meet the Obama administration’s targets for cutting greenhouse gasses, the government would have to tax gasoline until it cost $7 a gallon. I think Obama would have a real problem doing this. And by "this", I mean "keeping the tax hike that low."
  • Gun rights advocates have held "open carry" meet-ups at Starbucks stores in the San Francisco Bay Area, which has angered gun control advocates. Actually, not angered so much as embarrassed to discover that the Bill of Rights didn't stop after the First Amendment.

2 comments:

Matthew Avitabile said...

Did he write one about looking like a lizard?

Aaroncoal said...

Does he look like lizard? I'm not seeing it.