* Kids these days! When I was a kid we went bowling and we were terrible but we had fun and we got better over time. Now we give these lazy kids bumpers that cover the gutters so that they don't feel bad. So now they think they got a strike, when in reality they suck.
* Every time I go to Kmart I feel the urge to buy a wrestling T-Shirt. But I should wait because the flea market is coming up this Saturday and I can buy a wrestling T-shirt plus a NASCAR beach towel for the same price!
* Aaron Neville is what a soul singer would sound like if every time he started to sing you started violently tickling him. Also he has what appears to be a melted Kit Kat bar on his face.