* You are never too old to go down the slide at the park.
* Understanding women is a difficult task. Just try and do what they tell you to do as much as you can. When that eventually fails run into the woods and hide.
* Never give your mother a biography of Ed Gein for Mother's day.
* Make sure to blame George W. Bush for the fact that you are a raging alcoholic.
* Wear your heart on your sleeve... Wear your liver on your pant leg.