Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Actual Craigslist Trade Ad

I found this one on the barter page for Tempe, AZ...


Reply to: sale-774440782@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-29, 6:42AM MST
I need to have my mom’s car windows fixed if you are a mechanic and have someone that would like permanent makeup we could possibly trade. Please send me an email if interested. Suzan
Location: 602-350-****

Monday, July 28, 2008

Fun Facts

* I lose 5 lbs every week I work, and I gain 5 lbs every weekend. So I'm doing my part to keep the world in balance.

* This is like the 50th fun fact I have written.

* Little known fact: Fun Facts from this site are neither fun nor are they actual facts. Discuss.

Friday, July 25, 2008

School Lunch Menu

Lunch Menu For The Week of 7/28 - 8/1

Square cardboard-like Pizza
Choice of chips or Cole Slaw (like anyone ever chooses cole slaw)
Tossed salad (with little if any dressing)
Orange wedge

Beef Fritter
Pumpkin Seeds (salted)
Cabbage Casserole
Orange Wedge

Chicken Loaf
Peanut Butter (with spoon)
3 Laffy Taffy's
Orange Wedge

Spaghetti Basket
Bread (non-kosher)
Unidentifiable Fruit Cup
Orange Wedge

Salt Lick
Skittles (tropical)
Fortune Cookie (tells your future)
Orange Wedge

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Fun Facts -- Controversial TV Episodes

* On a controversial and very rare episode of Leave It To Beaver, Lumpy Rutherford and Wally accidentally killed a hobo on account of he was giving them the business and so The Beav helped them bury the body in the woods. And so Mr. Cleaver had to finish the boys' paper route job while June Cleaver wore pearls and prepared the boys' lunches for the next day, which she would hand to them as they walked out the door.

* Shaggy once told Daphne to "Shut your pie hole and get out of my face before I lose it big time." on an episode of Scooby Doo, in which Scooby replied ".....rut row raggy, that was ressed rup!"

* George Jetson files for divorce against Jane in the original un-aired final Jetsons episode. His reason for the divorce was that he has fallen for Mr. Spacely's wife. Jane then programs Rosie to stab him in his sleep. The episode never aired because censors were afraid that the home audience would be offended especially after the Leave It To Beaver "hobo murder" episode caused such a nation wide uproar.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Actual Craigslist Trade Ad

Trade Authetic Rare Rolex 4 Toyota Land Cruiser (Denver/Dallas)

Reply to: sale-762874315@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-20, 4:36PM MDT

I will pick up! Must be newer model in good condtion with low miles. Rolex is rare and in great shape. If interested pics available.

Wow! You'll be out a ride but you'll be able to tell what time it is with a rolex. I even left the craigslist email up in case any of you have an extra Toyota to get rid of and are in need of a nice watch. And get this... The dude will even pick it up to save you the hassle! What a deal!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

More Craigslist Trades

My favorite thing about this one is the last item. This person is trying to put the 1990's in the past where it belongs...

For Trade Misc stuff (wichita/ parkcity)

Reply to: sale-745006686@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-06, 9:32PM CDT

dining table with leaf and 6 chairs on casters
sony 3 disc shelf stereo system
curl bench with curl bar and leg attachment
treadmill, Electric & folds up
avital alarm
1995 mustang black headlight covers and hood bug deflector
boxing stuff, wraps, gloves speedbag, jump rope etc
compound bow with 3 arrows bear brand
cuetec pool cue like new
pog collection.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Actual Craigslist Trade Ad

Reply to: sale-751950714@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-12, 8:16AM CDT

I have a fujifilm s3000 finepix camera, memory cards, and rechargable batteries.
I am looking to trade for a tattoo gun and ink. Please call me 316-619-**** if you are interested.

thank you Kayra

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Fun Facts

* I came home work and had to used an SOS pad to scrub the aircraft sealant off my hands and when I took a shower I had metal shavings in my hair. It's tough being a Walmart greeter.

* Why aren't we drilling for oil in Alaska? The caribou don't care... trust me. It's high time we force our will and authority on the caribou anyway!

* Wow it was hot today. It was so hot I saw a squirrel with a head band on. (I stole that one.)

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Favorite Quotes From 'The Office' Pt1

Michael Scott: Ladies and gentleman, I have some bad news. Meredith was hit by a car.
Oscar: Where?
Michael Scott: It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital. And the doctors tried to save her, life, they did the best they could. And she is going to be ok.
Stanley: What is wrong with you? Why would you have to phrase is like that?

Pam Beesly: There is a master key and a spare key for the office. Dwight has them both. When I asked, "what if you die, Dwight? How will we get into the office?" He said, "if I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks."

Dwight Schrute: Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
Pam: Why would you want to raise your cholesterol?
Dwight Schrute: So I can lower it.

Dwight Schrute: [indicating his purple belt] This is not a toy, this is a message to the entire office so that everyone can see I can physically dominate them.

Dwight Schrute: ["steering" the ship] Don't worry Michael, I'm taking us to shore!
Michael Scott: It's a fake wheel, dummy!

Michael Scott: He's finished work, he's on his way home, WHAM, his cappa is detated from his head!

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

What We've Got Here Is Failure To Communicate

Cool Hand Luke -- Just a cool movie all around.
This is also the opening to the best Guns N' Roses song ever, Civil War

Monday, July 07, 2008

Home Remdies

* For mosquito bites -- Scratch them till they bleed.

* For upset stomach -- eat at Arby's, this will induce vomiting thereby relieveing the stomach of pressure.

* For Muscle twitching -- Put leaches on the skin.

* For Leaches on the skin -- Take them off.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Fast Facts

* Fireworks are banned and people are upset about forest fires that are happening all over California. If it were me and I looked outside my front door to see the surrounding area engulfed in flames on the 4th of July I would be so excited.. C'mon people that's like having it snow on Christmas day.

* Isn't it a strange tradition that on the day we celebrate our freedom we have a tradition of taking our money, lighting it on fire, and watching the neat colorful sparks it emits in the air.

* Wimbledon tennis.... Wow, how boring and pointless is that?

Thursday, July 03, 2008

The Rockafire Explosion Movie Trailer

I have so many horror filled memories of that place. The gorilla still haunts my dreams.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Who Would Buy These?

$285 dollar jeans that come pre-ruined.... Oh yeah... morons. I forgot about them! The Apocalypse will begin soon.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Facts and Figures

* The public library offers many sights and sounds; hobos using the Internet, kids not using their indoor voice, extremely obese women checking out books about traveling to Jamaica, creepy guys with pony tails checking out art work and magazines, it's all there to see and hear at the library!

* Staying home from work for a week will cause you to get bored and do odd things. I spent 2 hours yesterday learning and playing Bee Gee's songs on my guitar.

* Judge Judy is taking any more comments because she is ready to rule.