Friday, February 29, 2008

I'm Your Huckleberry

Forever a classic...

I served Wyatt Earp a cobb salad.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Suicidal Pets Get Anti-Depressants

Suicidal pets are being given anti-depressants according to an article I read on the Drudge Report yesterday.
The article is serious.
Pets at risk of self-harm are increasingly being prescribed anti-depressants because they cannot discuss problems in their lives with others, a leading veterinarian says.
The article went on to say parrots are at high risk for depression. Well, wouldn't you be depressed if you were blessed with the gift of flight and someone clipped your wings and forced you to stand on a stick in a locked cage all day while pooping on newspaper? The article explained that cockatoos will peck their legs to the bone out of boredom.
When is the last time you saw an animal attempting suicide?
I honestly would stand there in amazement if I saw my dog trying to fasten a noose with his paws. I'd let it happen! That would be a step forward in evolution!
Why aren't we letting these animals just express themselves?

So I've done some research and come up with some signs that your animal is depressed and possibly suicidal...

* The dog jumps on the couch and you yell "Bad dog!" and the dog says "It's true. I wish I had never been born."

* The cat goes for days without bathing itself.

* Your parrot just keeps ramming his head into the side of the cage continuously.

* Your pet chicken begins rolling around in seasoning and attempting to barbecue itself.

* You catch the dog eating chocolate.

....Still researching this one for more signs of a suicidal pet.


Monday, February 25, 2008

A Couple Of Observations

* The Oscars were tonight. What did you do instead of watching a bunch of panzy actors pat themselves on the back?

* Hillary is going to lose. If Obama weren't going to win then we could celebrate.

* I propose an amendment to the constitution where anyone who is in the military fighting in an active war zone is allowed to have their vote for president count as three votes.

* Nasal spray... Are we using it enough as a nation?

Saturday, February 23, 2008

An Actual Grateful Child

This made me smile. It's very sweet. It's nice to see a gracious child who obviously is genuinely thankful....

I actually kind of teared up when he tried to give back an earlier gift out of gratitude for the XBOX. Nice video!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Fun Facts

* It's company policy that if you ask for a job application at any Denny's they are required to give you one regardless. So I plan to walk into a Denny's with a friend and start tossing a football back and forth across the restaraunt, over the customer's heads. Then as I'm being asked to leave I'm going to ask politely and with a straight face for an application.

* Doctors have a tough and demanding job. That's why when the nurse takes me into the doctor's office to wait for him to arrive I go ahead and use the cotton swabs to give myself a throat culture, and I prepare a urine sample. Then I fully disrobe, turn my head, and prepare to cough. I mean c'mon, it's a time saver for everyone!

* You haven't lived until you've tried my homemade Pepsi.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Finding Light In The Face Of Tragedy

Some close friends of mine are going through unspeakable horror. The Schoenwald family lost have their members in a tragic car accident. I grew up around Ken Schoenwald and always respected him. His oldest daughter and his only son were also killed in the accident. Mrs Schonwald and their twin teenage daughters survived but are in serious condition.

When things of this nature happen you like to think that you would have just the right thing to say to comfort people who are hurting. But then you realize that the words just don't come out. We suddenly are completely aware just how human we are.

So the question of the hour is Why? Why would God take a devoted Christian family and bring such turmoil?

The answer of course is..I don't know.

But one thing I do know is that all of us like to dream of ourselves having a long 100 year stint on this earth.. We imagine ourselves rasing a family having them all grow old and then dying peacefully at the age of 100 or so.
The truth is that none of us know when we will go, or how we will go. We only live off of each breath the Lord provides us. We are not promised another hour...we are only given it.

The good news...
Ken and the other fallen members of his family were headed to vacation and the Lord decided to take them. Not take them and throw them away..but take them and usher them into the Kingdom. I know one thing for sure..If you gave Ken, Jace, and Jennalea the option of coming back right now they would turn you down fast...cause today they rest in the Lord's arms. That's ultimate rest. The ultimate vacation.

They have recieved what we are all striving for. And we should be so blessed! They do not envy us right now, I promise! And make no mistake they are alive indeed.

My prayers are with the survivors. I also pray for MorningStar Church(FBBC) I cannot imagine how this must hurt. None of us can. We only pray and build up the family.

The light WILL shine through this tragic darkness. Maybe not today or tomorrow. But the Lord sees the full picture and he knows the outcome. Cling to it.

We are not assured a long full life. We don't know what will happen 5 minutes from now, much less tomorrow. But if our faith is in Christ then we are assured to be called Undying! Praise God!

Friday, February 15, 2008

They're Called Marines

Thank you to those past, present, and future who fight for us. Thank you Josh.

This awesome lady said it best to the cowards in Washington. Watch em squirm...

Thursday, February 14, 2008

What If I Get The Flu?

I don't usually like to rerun posts so soon. But the flu is going around rapidly. So as a public service I am going to repeat myself.

Here are some tips to help you if you get the flu this year.**

* Do not go to work. It makes the rest of us look bad when you continue to work hard through your illness. Now somehow I'm a "wuss" because I call in sick when I get the sniffles.

* Do not try to lower your temperature if you get a fever. You don't want to miss out on some awesome delusional hallucinations.

* If you cough do not leave your mouth uncovered unless you are near that one jerk that works in accounting.

* If you start to feel nauseated make sure you eat some Fruity Pebbles. When that stuff comes back up you are going to see colors you never knew existed.

* Pour chicken soup directly into the toilet to save time.

* Do not clog the emergency rooms in your city if you have the simple flu. Symptoms of the simple flu include, sneezing, coughing, stuffy nose, pain in left arm, tightness in chest, seizures, vomiting blood, and loss of limbs. You'll be fine.

* Feed a cold. Starve a fever. Punch a rash.

* Putting cough syrup on pancakes saves time.

Hope that helps!

** Don't actually use these tips.

Monday, February 11, 2008

What Will You Do At Election Time?

I am a die hard conservative, therefore I am honestly at a loss on who or what to vote for. I almost wish a democrat would make it into office so we can watch them screw it up for a while and turn the tide back towards conservatism.
I do not know yet if I can bring myself to vote for McCain. He's a big spending washington liberal who loves pork. If I vote for that then it makes me feel filthy. Republicans are truly screwed this year. Look ahead to 2012! Who will rise from the ashes to make us proud again?

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Ravi Zacharias on Feminism and Atheism

This is why he is the C.S. Lewis of our day. You can feel how he brings the scripture into such a breathtaking light.

Friday, February 08, 2008

I Guess My Faith Is Just Lacking...

Say hi to Creflo Dollar.....

"Rev" Dollar is one of today's most popular preachers. His ministry is an 80 million dollar a year ministry. He preaches the prosperity gospel with a straight face.

Here's his 3 million dollar house..

He also is reported to have many cars, a learjet, he stays in the presidental suites of hotels when he travels, and he wears lavish clothing.

“For such people do not serve our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly, and through smooth speech and flattering, they deceive the hearts of the innocent”. Romans 16:18

"Martyrs not popular charts"

I say better to live here...

Then where he's living.

Let us now seal the proof.... A MUST WATCH... Creflo doesn't even hide it...

Monday, February 04, 2008

Superman: The Musical

This was an actual show in 1975 based on the Broadway version. Wow, that's bad.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

My Pick For President...

It took hard work and thought. It took a lot of doughnuts (doughnuts feed essential vitamins and sugars to the thought process). It took me to highs and lows sometimes not sleeping for days and days. And now after days and weeks of mulling it over and debating with myself, hour after gruelling hour. I have made my pick for president....

I Choose...

Dustin Diamond better known as TV's Screech from Saved By The Bell:

I feel that he will America sell enough Buddy Bands™ under the Diamond administration to revive the economy.