1. Hillary Clinton will become president and then immediately name herself supreme commander of North America. Tragically a house will land on her during a cyclone and her legs will curl up underneath.
2. Michael Jackson's nose will fall off and then be placed into the Smithsonian museum next to Archie Bunker's chair.
3. The I-Phone will outsell the Flowbee 250 to 1.
4. Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Lindsay Lohan will all do something incredibly dumb and slutty and it will make headline news.
5. I will sell a vacuum to another b-list celebrity... either that or I will get a new job where I work next to a guy named Earl. Both Earl and I have our names sewn on our shirt.
6. President Bush will seal his name in the history books as one of the greatest presidents of all time. He will probably be top ten on most people's list... People that matter anyway..
7. Some type of explosion and/or possible religious mob riot will occur in the middle east somewhere.
8. Conspiracy theorists will finally crack the case and figure out that JFK did indeed commit suicide while riding in the motorcade in Dallas.
9. Liberals will accuse republicans of clubbing baby seals for money. Yeah...so.
10. Bjork will win big at the Icelandic Lifetime Psycho Achievement Awards. That's right the ILPAAs
Ending sound effect: Wah Wah