Saturday, July 28, 2007

Things I Still Need To Do..

1. Just walk up during church to the pulpit while the pastor is preaching and whisper in his ear, "your fly is open." And maybe his fly is open, and maybe it isn't. But when he looks down and his fly isn't open I will just say, "well, it isn't now, but it never hurts to check, Am I right pastor?" I betcha anything that congregation will applaud at my statement.

2. Sneak across the border into Mexico and take one of the high paying jobs that regular Mexicans are simply unwilling to take.

3. Go to the moon in a homemade rocket. I want to spend millions of dollars crafting a one man rocket, using it to travel to the surface of the moon, get out and walk around for a few minutes, shout something stupid like "I can see my house from here!", climb back into my one man rocket ship, and then come home before dinner. If I get lost on the way home I have Google Earth to guide me!

4. Lose a leg in a mining accident. Because you would never be without a cool story to tell!

5. Rent out the zoo for myself. I like to go to the zoo, but the other people are so distracting.. So I'm going to pay the thousands of dollars to rent out the zoo for just myself for one day. I betcha anything I'd get mauled to death in the goat feeding area.

6. Go to the public library in just my boxers and a t-shirt. When the security guard asks me to leave, I'll say..."But the sign up front says pants are optional." When he tells me "Sir, there is no sign that says that.", I'll say "Sir you need to lower your voice, this is a library." I betcha anything he just says "Good point!" and then we both go about our business.


Ok, I needed to just get one of these nonsense posts out of the way. It was overdue. So Sorry!

1 comment:

karla said...

If you carried out number 1... I do believe a nice associate pastor would be out of a job (or atleast a title). I imagine one of the duties as associate pastor is to keep incidents like this at bay.