* Goth kids on skateboards hanging out underneath bridges just aren't my crowd.
* Weeks before the festival all the best tube tops from area stores are snatched up.
* I can sit around shirtless and eat funnel cakes at home thank you!
* Admiral Windwagon Smith shot my uncle.
* I hate getting hit in the head with randomly thrown frisbees
* Since everyone is downtown, it's a perfect day to rob trailer homes.
* Pronto Pups are just corndogs. You can get those anytime.
* The button costs $5 and I only have $3.50.
* 3 times more bodies are found floating in the river than usual during the River Festival.
* Hugs from unlicensed clowns.
* That carnival they set up has traveling carnies. Most traveling carnies are on the sexual predator list.
* Hacky sacking smelly hippies.
* I feel like I'm invading all the hobo's homes.
Stay home and avoid viruses, puking, funnel cakes, bad parking, possible death, and scabies.
Ok I'm teasing... But I still avoid it!