I know nobody really cares about my obsession with the funniest radio show ever(R.I.P.). But it's my blog. I started it and I'll kill it.
Ma'am while you we're all cozy in your home during the Korean conflict I was up to my neck in Moe Howard haircuts.
Buddy, you put your hands on me and you'll pull back two bloody stumps.
What's this Canadian doin' on the phone, okay, they haven't launched anything higher than a balloon.
You try to tailgate me on black ice, and the only charred remains they'll find that day will have a pith helmet on top of it.
I'll just let this beach bum here know: he ever grabs a phone out of my hands and he'll come back with just a wrist. No hand, just a wrist.
Sir, I have to admonish you: if you call me a crybaby again I can sue you.
She has not won a case yet for me and we've sued, probably, in the last three years... several hundred people, but this one-- gosh, I feel so good about it.
When I go to Iraq I'll be a one-man killing machine.
This girl sounds like her tubes are tying themselves together.
You may not believe it, but I got a certified I.Q. of 175.
Chinamen are really good at ping pong because of their horizontal sight, they see the whole net.
Lettuce gives itself over willingly to the sandwich.
If you were in my class I'd put you in the corner for sounding like Porky Ding-dang Pig.
All you need, Jim, is the courage to say to her, "Get in there a make me some bean dip!"
You are scum... I'll see you soon. I'll see you-- you've got a fight comin', it's comin' today.
David G. Hall
Every time you open your mouth you sink into a bigger swamp of dumb.
Now you wanna shank me in the back, huh? Old fashioned jail style. Shiv me out in the yard, right underneath the goal.
Do you know what it looks like when a child has to hopscotch without leg braces…just crawling from square to square?
It looks like someone set her face on fire and put it out with a track shoe.