* Why do they try and make everything that is good in this world into a cereal? Cinnamon rolls are good WITH milk...But when they make them into stale little crunchy things and float them in a bowl of milk it tastes like deer pellets.
* There was a saying in the old west that went something like this "When the snake slithers past the spur at high noon trouble is-a-comin so ye best be moving on."
Actually that's more a saying I made up just now. Sorry for the confusion.
* A bear was outside my window last night. I called the cops but they told me I was dreaming and to go back to sleep. So I did.
* A bear mauled a guy outside my window last night.