Monday, August 21, 2006

The 5 Questions You Should Ask Your Date...

Don't get stuck on a date that is a disaster. Ask these 5 questions before you even agree to see the person...

1. Do you own a pet bird? Any woman or man who would cage up an animal that has been given the gift of flight would have no qualms about trapping you in their own cage of smothering commitment. Say goodbye to your friends sucker!

2. How about that NPR? If they say "What's NPR?" then you have a keeper.

3. Have you ever killed a man in Reno just to watch him die? Listen carefully to their tone as they answer this one. If they have a nervous laugh afterwards do not proceed on the date without an extensive background check and a constant monitoring of the America's Most Wanted website.

4. What is the capitol of Oklahoma? You'd think that most people would think that was an easy question and immediately blurt out Oklahoma City as the answer. But watch for that hesitation. Some think it's a trick question and then they start to sweat and they blurt out with Tulsa...if this happens, put down the flowers you got at the convinent store and slowly back away.

5. Cheers: Diane or Rebecca? I have no idea why this question is important. I just think if they pass the test up to this point then it might be time to let loose with a fun know to sort of get to know them. Oh, and if they say Diane...leave the premisis at once, get help.

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