Wednesday, July 05, 2006

I Got Hit With A Firework Last Night. Here's The List Of People I'm Suing...

1. The tent that sold it to me -- They are negligent in the fact that they sold me a defective firework that went horribly askew and bludgeoned me in front of my friends.

2. The Chinese man who made it -- Sure, he makes 5 dollars a month working in a sweat shop...but I need compensation.

3. My parents -- They hosted the party that made conditions right for a firework celebration. They were responsible for even the possibility of it happening.

4. My friends -- You know who you are! Not one of you made any attempt to stop the rogue firework from smashing itself into my precious skin. Most laughed hysterically while I writhed in pain and screamed like a girl. See you in court!

I will prosecute with extreme prejudice!


EEK said...

This blog is hilarious. I specifically enjoyed your interview with the President of Iran. It's rare that you get to hear the tyrant's perspective directly from what I like to call the 'horse's mouth.' Impressive indeed.

markerfactory said...

I think we should hook up for a class action law suit. One for your injury, and one for me getting hit in the head with one of those fireworks that "I have no idea where this is gonna go."