* There are more smashed squirrels on the streets of Wichita then there are people. I almost guarantee it. How dumb are these animals? They just saw their friend get turned into a pancake yet they think it'll never happen to them. On a side note... Do you know what they call a street full of smashed squirrels in Arkansas? ...A buffet.
* This week I've been working on some plumbing projects at my work. A urinal kept overflowing. I go to start fixing it and do you know what has happened to me twice this week already? You guessed it...A full on in-the-face spray of urinal water. It's gross but yet at the same time I've never felt more alive!
* Dr. Phil has athletes foot.