Friday, March 03, 2006

Aaron's New Undeniable Truths

Time to speak some truth!!!

* There is a God and He is sovereign and in control.

* Modern liberalism is a mental disorder.

* Ronald Reagan is the greatest president of the 21st century.

* The law of non-contradiction apples to religion too. Exclusive claims cannot be true and not true at the same time.

* Summer, although hot and muggy, is the greatest season that God created. The others are great mainly because they make summer seem so much better.

* This fad of tattoos is annoying. You do realize that 65% of the population now has some Chinese letter on the small of their back.

* I like Walmart because as you know, the savings never stop.

* Cinnamon Rolls are glorious.

* Long John Silver's fish tastes basically just like the chicken.

* As a rule in Kansas, generally when you see a car parked on the lawn in front of someone's mobile home trailer, you can bet that one of the car windows is actually a trash bag held on with duct tape.

* If I ever start a bluegrass band the name of it would be The Cedar Hill Boys.

* I'll never start a bluegrass band.

* There is no greater feeling in this world than knowing that this world and this life is not how the story ends.

* Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face; and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace!

* Captain Crunch cereal pulverizes the roof of your mouth.

* SNL should go off the air. It's stupid.

* Cheers is filmed in front of a live studio audience.

* Count me among the 16% that totally approves of Dick Cheney.

* Legally all commercials should be limited to 30 seconds.

* The greatest invention of the 21st century is a 3-way tie between The Clapper, Spray Easy Cheese, and The Flowbee.

* Snoop Dogg whitens his teeth with Bleeeeyatch.

Undeniable indeed!

1 comment:

Chris said...

I'm from NY. What's a Flowbee?