Based loosely on Rush Limbaugh's 30 undeniable truths.
* There is a God..He is all powerful.
* Wheat bread is so much better than white.
* If you are eating a mayonnaise sandwich right now at a table that has a NASCAR table cloth, you just might be a white trash redneck.
* No nation has ever taxed itself into prosperity.
* There is nothing more entertaining than watching a midget play Dance Dance Revolution. Go little man, Go!
* Hearing politicians tell us "we" can't "afford" a tax cut is like listening to a glutton tell you he can't "afford" a diet. In no other context do people talk about "paying for" money they don't have. I can't pay for your refusal to give me money because I need a yacht. -- Ann Coulter
* Each of us are standing in the palm of God's hand, most of us don't even realize that.
* Liberalism stems from ignorance
* Ronald Reagan is the best president of the 20th century.
* Attending Church is not optional for a Christian...according to the Bible.
* U2 recycles music.
* Abortion is murder.
* The hamburger is the single greatest food of all time.
* People who smoke are among the least brightest people on the earth.
* The ACLU is evil and will be the organization that sets the foundation for Christian persecution in America.
* American's are too fat...Hey, can someone hand me that twinkie?
* Rap music as a whole is terrible, country music as a whole is terrible. If and when the two meet Armageddon will commence.
* Homosexuality is a sin.
* Sam Cooke and Otis Redding own Usher and R. Kelly.
* Quentin Terintino is the most overrated film maker of our time.
* Adam Sandler hasn't made a funny movie since Happy Gilmore.
* Levi's Jeans, if worn for a week straight without being washed, will start to chafe.
* George W. Bush is the right man for the job, he will go down in the history books as one of the greats.
* We've finally given liberals a war against fundamentalism, and they don't want to fight it. They would, except it would put them on the same side as the United States. -- Ann Coulter
* Soy Chocolate Milk isn't half bad.
* Sticking your head out the side window of the space shuttle during reentry into the earth's atmosphere will kill you.
* Cleaning toilets is way easier and much more pleasant than cleaning windows.
* The Passion was one of the most beautifully made and truthful movies of all time.
* You could afford your house without your government - if it weren't for your government. -- Rush Limbaugh
* Michael Moore is having a triple with extra cheese from Wendy's right now.
* A warm chocolate chip cookie and a cold glass of milk is one of the greatest combinations of all time. It's the closest thing to heaven on earth that can be had.
* Barry White had himself a deep voice.
* Brian Regan is probably the funniest comedian ever. Tim B. can back me up on that one.
* Responsibility and hardship bring about maturity.
* Jesus Christ is our first, last, and only hope.
* Elvis was fat when he died.