Friday, September 23, 2005
Bush Continues Reign Of Terror On Gulf States
President Bush ignoring critics this week unleashed a second category 5 hurricane into the gulf. Thousands fled as hurricane Rita was poised to bear havoc on the Texas and Louisiana border. "This president is an animal", said Sarah Hanson of Galveston Texas. Hanson and others like her have packed up their families and headed north to escape the devastating blow that this Republican induced fury of a storm is expected to deliver. Even earlier skeptics have finally come around to blame Bush for the tragic weather phenomenon that was previously blamed on nature. Bill Edson of the Texas Center For Weather Prediction thinks he knows why. "It was naive of us to misunderestemate the pure evil that is Bush. He hates minorities, women, and children like the coyote hated the road runner." said Edson as he forced a laugh to try and deal with the fear.
Most believe that Bush's reign of terror in the region is only beginning. Even his cabinet and staff seem to finally be coming to grips with Bush's maniacal mindset. "Ever since he bought that weather machine from the Koreans he just seems to be walking around the White House with this evil smirk", Donald Rumsfeld said of Bush. Condaleeza Rice added, "I knew it was getting bad when he had me contact the National Guard to make sure they were going in before the storm to dismantle the busses that could have been used for rescue and evacuation... Dick [Cheney] told me that all week Bush has been just sort of walking around in a daze mumbling stuff under his breath about Haliburton and minorities and how we have to get rid of the poor to make room for more oil drilling."
Everyone seems to be clear that Bush is the culprit, what is not clear is how he can be stopped. Cheney, Rice and Rumsfeld have been in meetings all week trying to come up with ways to calm Bush down.
"None of us saw this coming, I mean who would have guessed that Bush would be this crazy with power, we are all stumped on what to do about it... One thing we know for sure is if Bush wins that Ebay auction for the Tesla earthquake machine we are all deep deep trouble." Rumsfeld told the AP in an interview. "And with Bush's Ebay feedback rating at a solid 99% it's just not looking good." [AP]
AP = Aaron Press