Thursday, May 19, 2005

Things I Want
To Do Before I Die...

* Bring a live chicken on a leash into Walmart.

* Go to Denny's really late and ask if Mr. Denny is in. When they say no, I just hand them an envelope with a folded up piece of paper in it and say "Well see to it that he gets this" and then I leave. Later they'd get curious and open it up and all it says is "As if Mr. Denny is a real person......suckers!"

* Play ping pong with an albino midget.

* Tell CBS about my new idea for another CSI spinoff. It's called CSI: Northern Oklahoma It's basically a CSI team sitting around in an office waiting for a case. It could just be them playing waste paper basketball and stuff. And then they'd get a call and the tension would build and then they'd head out to the scene and it'd usually be just some guy who choked to death on a burrito.

* Go out with a girl on a date and at the end of the date I'd ask the girl for a kiss. When she says no, I'd respond "You're probably right, it's for the best, I mean what if my wife found out."

* Instead of saying "Amen" in church, I just keep yelling out "Booooyah".

* Sit through an entire symphony concert while holding a violin in the audience. At the end when someone asks me why I brought a violin to the performance I say "well I was supposed to be the main soloist tonight but they wouldn't let me play because I'm black" and when the lady says "but you aren't black" I'd respond, "Yeah, and I don't play the violin either......sucker!" then I'd grab the program out of her hand and just start running.

1 comment:

John said...

This post was very entertaining...thanks for the laughs.