Thursday, December 16, 2004

Predictions For 2005

These shall come to pass in the next year....

* My car will finally crack up and fall apart, probably in the middle of an intersection..I will in one moment be sitting in my car, and in the next I will be sitting in the middle of 21st street holding my steering wheel with car parts all around me.

* Michael Jackson finally admits to being a 70 year old white woman.

* My friend Mark will say "ooh ooh, story everyone....", At the end of his story there will be total silence...he will then tell us about how he found five dollars...laughter will ensue.

* My friend Tim will eat a disgusting chicken sandwich from Quik Trip in my house causing the smell to billow all over the apartment. He will spend the next few hours after, eating ice.

* I will play the song Dust In The Wind on my guitar for 1000th time causing my friends to get angry and toss my guitar off of my balcony...Much crying will ensue.

* Network TV will continue its downward spiral when it comes to tasteless reality shows when NBC it introduces its new show entitled "Fear Factor for The Elderly".

* I will win the esteemed Church Janitor Of The Year award at the annual Janitor Awards. I will break down during my acceptance speech when I thank God, the academy and my homies who went before.

* The new Wichita downtown arena will open to little fanfare after the biggest name they can bring in for the opening concert is Michael Bolton...Most people who attend will leave after he sings "How Am I Supposed To Live Without You".

* I will go back to school finally and switch my major to my original which was meterology. Shortly after graduating I will reach my lifes dream when I become Mobile Unit 34 on the KFDI weather team.

* My mom and Jackie will get mad at me for making fun of my nose.

* It's my nose, I'll make fun of it if I want.

* Man that was good pie (**for Mark only).

* The liberals and the ACLU will sue so that Christmas will be forced to offically be renamed "Happy secular holiday day".

* I will get so annoyed at the amount of people who constantly quote and answer questions in the style of Napoleon Dynamite that I will search this world until I find a llama named Tina and punch it in the face.

*I will finally get up the nerve to play a guitar solo and sing during a church service, but I will immediatly be booed off the stage when I choose Dust In The Wind as my piece...Once again much crying will ensue.

* Arrested Development, The Simpsons, and Lost will continue to be the ONLY good shows on TV, although that Fear Factor For The Elderly should be good!


Maybe I will make some more predictions later....

Sorry that so many of these are inside jokes.

Please make your predictions for 2005 in your comments.

See ya round

Aaron S.

3 comments:

markerfactory said...

*Toys R Us will be driven into utter bankruptcy by the Walmart super power pricing everything down and kicking them out of the toy retail industry.

*Gas will go back up to around 50 bucks a barrel.

*Cherry Coke will become no less desirable.

*Salsa will become the number one condiment in the United States.

*Keith Richards will be commited to a retirement home in New Hampshire.

*"Dust in the Wind" will become the country's most overplayed song ever.

*Regis Filbin will be elected Governor of some state he knows nothing about.

*Dumpcake will remain the world's most underrated dessert.

Aaroncoal said...

* It will be discovered that over 58% of Americans have traces of gravy in their blood stream.

* Wurther's Original and Denture Polygrip will become a form of currency in retirement homes across America.

Jackie said...

*My family will kick my cat Pencey out of the house for pulling everything out of the linen closet for the 78th time, and I will see him with the Bobby Fisher supporters on a street corner in Lawrence.

*I will eat one too many cases of Ben and Jerry's and either explode or be forced to buy an entire new wardrobe from J Crew.

*Aaron will say that something is "overrated" one too many times and I will kick him in the face. And it will hurt. And much crying will ensue.